Tag: blog

Struggles

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I have been struggling. Physically and emotionally. I am sure they are linked.

I am still working on my thumb and there is still pain involved when I am not sure there should be any pain still happening. With my chronic illnesses I am not sure if they are the reasons or if I am pushing too hard. But I just carry on as there isn’t anything else I CAN do.

I am struggling emotionally as well. I am feeling unwanted, unliked, unnecessary, etc. This I do not know how to break out of except to pray, which I am doing a lot of. It is becoming overwhelming. I do not have anyone I can talk to about who could understand. I know God will get me through. I will lean on Him.

Our Lions Club needs more members. Do you have any suggestions on how to reach out? I would love to hear your suggestions. We do such good works for our community, we would love to do more.

Well, it is going to be a gorgeous day here so I better get prepared to be outside. Have a blessed day!

Unbelievable Day

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I was woke up with the news that a boy I have watched grow up while he played on the same soccer team as my grandson through many years was in a horrible pickup accident versus a semi last night. Turns out he is the half brother of my daughter’s best friend. Please, please pray for him. He is only 16. He has a whole life to live.

I went out of town for a doctor’s appointment that had apparently been rescheduled to next month. I had the rescheduled appointment wrote down for today not next month. So there was a communication error.

I am in a flare. That is not helping things. I hurt everywhere and just want to go to bed on my heated mattress pad, but my husband deserves some of my time and attention. We are going to go out for dinner and enjoy each other’s company. As much as I can, I have gotten excellent at faking it. He can rarely tell anymore. I want to keep it that way. What he doesn’t know…

I started the sourdough bread journey. Hahaha. My first attempt was a hockey puck. I haven’t had time for a second attempt. My starter is in the fridge, resting. I will pick it back up on Saturday if my flare calms down a bit. Maybe my husband could help me. Think positive thoughts.

We made it to the end of another year

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I can’t believe it is already the end of the year. Where did it go? I blinked and it was gone. I had so many plans of things I wanted to do and places I wanted to go, and I didn’t get to do any of it.

Unfortunately, this is what living with a chronic illness is all about. Wanting to do things, but your body telling you that that isn’t going to happen. Disappointment is the emotion of the day. Always. Then IF you do get a good day…you go crazy. You over do things and act like you used to thinking you have some time to be yourself for once. And the next day, the illness is back to remind you who is in charge. My family thinks I should learn that I should know better. And yeah, I guess I should, but I just feel so GOOD, I cannot contain myself. I get to be myself. If you could only imagine what that feels like. To actually be yourself for the first in forever. Of course, you take advantage of it. You don’t THINK, you just FEEL.

I have been sick for the past three weeks. All through the holidays. I still took my grandkids in and kept them for a few days to create memories. We made homemade sugar cookies to decorate. I got to decorate my very first Christmas cookie with my grandkids. We had a great time. Did I put myself in a huge flare doing so? You better believe it. Was it worth it? Yes, in all ways. I want my grandkids to have memories of Nana doing things with them before this disease cripples me. They knew the toll it took on me, no matter how hard I tried to hide it. They all stepped up and did little things for me. It was so touching how they picked up on it and went out of their way to take care of me in their own way.

I finally got back on my feet and of course, did it again, so I am taking it easy for the rest of the week. Just taking care of me. I ordered the new Visible band to see if it will help me monitor myself. I will keep you updated on that journey. It is a bit expensive and of course there is a membership so before you go through the expense let me test it out for you. I have the app downloaded on my phone and have joined the membership, I am just waiting on the band to arrive in the mail. I have received an email stating it has shipped so we will see how long it takes to get here. The original band was to be worn on the forearm; this band is to be worn on the wrist. After it has learned my regular rhythms, I am curious as to exactly how often I push myself past the point that I should. We will go through this together.

Back to the year end, I have had a good year. I have learned a few lessons. Like standing up for myself more, establishing boundaries to certain people in my life and resting more. I am getting more into my bible and praying more than ever. My faith has increased greatly this year. My relationships have strengthened, and we are all closer than ever, a tighter knit family.

For 2026 I wish nothing but the best for you ALL. Happy New Year