I can’t believe it is already the end of the year. Where did it go? I blinked and it was gone. I had so many plans of things I wanted to do and places I wanted to go, and I didn’t get to do any of it.
Unfortunately, this is what living with a chronic illness is all about. Wanting to do things, but your body telling you that that isn’t going to happen. Disappointment is the emotion of the day. Always. Then IF you do get a good day…you go crazy. You over do things and act like you used to thinking you have some time to be yourself for once. And the next day, the illness is back to remind you who is in charge. My family thinks I should learn that I should know better. And yeah, I guess I should, but I just feel so GOOD, I cannot contain myself. I get to be myself. If you could only imagine what that feels like. To actually be yourself for the first in forever. Of course, you take advantage of it. You don’t THINK, you just FEEL.
I have been sick for the past three weeks. All through the holidays. I still took my grandkids in and kept them for a few days to create memories. We made homemade sugar cookies to decorate. I got to decorate my very first Christmas cookie with my grandkids. We had a great time. Did I put myself in a huge flare doing so? You better believe it. Was it worth it? Yes, in all ways. I want my grandkids to have memories of Nana doing things with them before this disease cripples me. They knew the toll it took on me, no matter how hard I tried to hide it. They all stepped up and did little things for me. It was so touching how they picked up on it and went out of their way to take care of me in their own way.
I finally got back on my feet and of course, did it again, so I am taking it easy for the rest of the week. Just taking care of me. I ordered the new Visible band to see if it will help me monitor myself. I will keep you updated on that journey. It is a bit expensive and of course there is a membership so before you go through the expense let me test it out for you. I have the app downloaded on my phone and have joined the membership, I am just waiting on the band to arrive in the mail. I have received an email stating it has shipped so we will see how long it takes to get here. The original band was to be worn on the forearm; this band is to be worn on the wrist. After it has learned my regular rhythms, I am curious as to exactly how often I push myself past the point that I should. We will go through this together.
Back to the year end, I have had a good year. I have learned a few lessons. Like standing up for myself more, establishing boundaries to certain people in my life and resting more. I am getting more into my bible and praying more than ever. My faith has increased greatly this year. My relationships have strengthened, and we are all closer than ever, a tighter knit family.
For 2026 I wish nothing but the best for you ALL. Happy New Year
Bountiful Spoons 